Lower your buying addiction

       I am in a country that has some economical irregularities such as foreign currency is going up day by day. What matters here is not that I am a trader or a boss. But as a very normal person, I like shopping very much especially some goods that come from U.S or E.U. countries. Everybody is keen on shopping from Zara, Bershka, Sephora,etc.. Imported goods have a reliability on Turkish customers. We believe that with the help of some social media sites they are the number one and we cannot live without them. I quitted using social media many years ago. Then I watched Youtube videos for a while. Youtube was the best advertising economy for the people following them. The most surprising fact that I discovered that I bought many things that I haven't heard before and in my drawer there are lots of cosmetics waiting for their deadline. Because in my daily routine I don't have so much time and energy to put on so many cosmetics on my face.
      Everyday I wake up with news that the dollar is rising again. I decided to stop my shopping habits actually I don't bury my whole salary to shopping compared to many people. To be honest, When I look at the people around me, I am a lot more spender. In these hard times, what should we do as a middle class family to tidy up the home economy? That is the question going on my mind.
I tried some little tips about myself and my family income:
1. Stop using online shopping. This is really an addiction. Sometimes I was wandering around the screen for hours searching goods, reading comments and making small comparisons between the shopping sites. Every month I bought thing that cost one third of my salary. they were all my needs. But at the end they were living in my wardrobes never ever to be dressed for not more than one or two.
2. Make a list of your monthly needs and make your spending budget according to that. I don't mean that you will not buy something. you should decide what is urgent for you. Make a family discussion about what do you need to buy this month. For instance, you need a bag but you go to a shopping centre and buy many things. That creates a danger for your income.
3. Refuse SMS messages and unsubscribe Emails from some brands. Refuse to get messages from trademark companies. they make such a trap to attract more people to buy their goods. A week ago I got a message from an online shopping brand. The clothes were half the price. I immediately jumped in to their website. I picked two or their clothes really half the price. I added them to cart. Then I asked this question three times Do I need them? Do I really need them? Do I really need them? I closed it and I got emails from the shopping website. The tricks were playing their role.
Email one,
Dear Ebru, we notice that you picked three clothes but you didn't buy them. the website is the most appreciated one in Turkey, You will not be regretful.
Dear Ebru; The clothes you picked have the risk of being consumed away and the clothes will not be reproduced once they have run out.  Not to be sorry, just buy them
Email Two
Dear Ebru; We know the clothes you picked are in your mind. Buy them and try in your house if you don't like the model the color or whatever, you can easily turn it back in 14 days.
that was the strategy.. Buy! Buy! Buy!
4. Get used to pay cash instead of credit card. I read about a research applied to many people who pay cash vs. who pay via credit card. the ones who pays with cash money felt a pain and reviewed if they want it or they need it. While shopping, paying cash gives you the feeling that you may run out of money and you have to be careful about spending it.
5. Eat healthy food at home. I am a teacher for 15 years and I also like cooking at home. But As I get older, I discovered the freshness and health of home made food. Last year I nearly prepared my own food from home every working day. It feels you comfortable and it is cheaper moreover healthier. Make a plan of your whole week about what to eat day by day.

Finally, these lists do not end may be limitless hacks to add to the list. You can decide which one is practical for your life, create new original ideas. Never forget that consuming only makes us a lot more consumer. It's time to save!

Is "SHARE" ing a kind of caring??

                 Remembering the times, when I went to the grocery, I could only buy just one piece of thing like candy and nuts, chocolate etc. with my pocket money. It was so precious for me and I got very excited when the time came to eat. Even if it was the only piece, We could share it with our friend incase she/ he wanted. Because we knew that our friends can long for thing we bought. We use a term and an expression for that in our language. The oldies say there is "a right for one's eye". What does that mean? This can be explained such as if you eat or drink something near your friend, he/she can desire it and may be cannot say. Then this person keeps an eye on you. therefore you should share it. We were grown like that. We were taught that "you share because you care" of another one. This is also an Islamic deed. "You can't sleep with full stomach when your neighbour in need is hungry" The motto in our minds changed into something different  from what was taught. But why?
               By the time the social media entered in our lives, we learned the term "share". You shared your feelings, you shared the happy moments of your lives, you shared the places you've visited....
But while sharing we missed something. What were the others ,the friends in the social media thinking? When they see where we are or what we eat, how would they feel? Would they really share our feelings or envy? According to a scientific research, social media makes low-income people unhappy. They feel worried for their life for not having enough moments  to share. They will not share luxurios life so they will not get "likes" If you ask me whether I share or not, the answer is of course yes. But day by day I started to share rarely and stopped sharing many things about my personal life. May be I tried to make an empathy on people's shares. I noticed that a sharing competition started among people. The happiness meant that if you are on holiday, if you eat dinner in a cool place, if you have a wonderful birthday party, you are the happiest person on earth. The more you spend, the happier you feel!
               On the other hand, sometimes I see some useful organizations on the social media about helping people in need, such as helping a sick child. This makes me believe there are still sincere and kind-hearted people all over the world. I think these people and organizations will make our world better place to live and make us believe all the people are part of a big family in all colors, languages and nations.

Learning English in the age of pencil-paper. (PEN-PALLING:)

Learning English in the age of pencil-paper. (PEN-PALLING:)

We are the Age of Transition. If you say what it refers to, this is a definition of my generation. Neither were we born distant from technology, nor in the middle of it.. Even if we are using technology so often nowadays, we used to live in a non-technological age in our childhood.  Our meeting with technology started with telephones in our houses sometimes. We made jokes by changing our voices to the receiver as to make the person to believe the caller is a stranger. And many more strange jokes among our friends can startle a teenager in these days. If you have a relative living in foreign countries, this was the only connection to the other countries. There was no chance of meeting or talking someone from a different country.

As I started high school, Our English lessons became more important. Let me explain. The first year of my high school, there were 5 lessons in my curriculum. My native language and literature (Turkish) for 4 hours, 18 hours English, 2 hours music, 2 hours art, 2 hours P.E. English was the biggest part for achieving success through the first year. Our first meeting with the HOTLINE Course book (Oxford University Press)and English culture. We were learning people who had pen-pals from different countries. It was so strange I thought. How could you write someone who you haven’t met before? It was a miracle for me and deeper inside me I wished I had a pen-pal but how?

Not always dreams come true but mine was accepted. One day I was in the school cafeteria with friends from the upper class, they were carrying some papers in their hands. They told us that there was a company (IYS = International Youth Service) organizing students to have a pen-pal. This was unbelievable!!! I listened them attentively and applied for to have one.

Rules:

1.       You have to pay 1.10$ for one pen-pal.

2.     You have choose 5 countries.

3.     You can select gender, age.

Finished! That was all. I filled out the form immediately. But they told that if you write countries speaking English as their first language, the pen-pal may not find interesting to write. Write countries using ESL (English as a Second Languge) I didn’t listen to them and I wrote USA in my first choice and took the risk of it. Two weeks later, They sent my pen-pal address.

“What to do next! Ebru” I said to myself- Go home and write a letter as soon as possible with your pre-intermediate English. I wrote a very formal letter with my hand-writing and described my family and me most. The next step was to post it and wait for the hopeless reply. Days went by, our postman in the village knew my father very well. It was unfamiliar for someone getting a letter from a far-away country. Everyone got excited when I saw the name “Jenny Wong”.

 It was her. She was my pen-pal. She replied to me. I took it and went to my room with an English dictionary.

I read the letter several times. This was the beginning of my story with Jenny. 

We kept writing through four years. We sent many little presents to each other. The extensive use of internet through the world made people forget writing letters.

     During the years I had 2 more pen-pals one from Finland,

 and from India. I have to admit that I couldn’t find more energy for the other ones and my story ended then.

     Even today I kept many of my letters in my box and never thought getting rid of them. If I find time, I go back to the old days and read the sentences written by Jenny. Last year I put all my letters in to a file to show my students. That was not much intersting for them and found boring. But I try to understand them as they have many technological opportunities under just one click !!! I believe Letters will never die!

NO CREDIT CARDS BUT TRUST!

NO CREDIT CARDS BUT TRUST!

In the very old times when there were trustworthy relations among people, money was something not needed urgently. I was a child in a small village in Yalova where there were younger children in my territory since I was the leader and trustful one. If someone needed something, he/she would call me and tell their wishes from the grocery to fetch. The little cute grocers were the only shopping place of the village. You could find every detail in one small shop. Grocers were a tradition that you could tell from nation to nation.

Today I want to tell you a story about a paying style that is special to the grocers. I looked it up in the dictionary as to find the word. The word that I found was “buy on tick”. I mean you buy a material and you have no money but you pay it later. Credit cards play the role of this method now but when you have a credit card, you should pay it on time. There are some procedures and processes. But this method was a very trustworthy one even today in small cities we use this method when both the salesman and the customer know each other well. For ex. Maybe they are relatives and well-acquainted. This may seem a bit different and odd to you in the 21^st century because it is hard to believe what if the customer doesn’t pay it or how does the salesman can buy goods for his grocery. These are complicated at first. You will read through my story how it goes on.

There was an aunt in our village. She was the woman that gave her milk (breast-feeding) to my daddy when my daddy was a baby. This was a tradition. We can see it as half- mother of my daddy. We respect upon her and she lives very close to us just opposite. Her husband was retired during my childhood. This couple had four children and all of them were married and  living different cities. They were alone and we were like their grandchildren especially me!! J they had small incomes as the pension was not high but regular. They were always buying their needs from the grocery with the method I have mentioned at the top. “buy on tick” . Every day the Aunt called me and wanted me to get their needs from the grocery. They had a small black covered notebook. I used to take it and go to the grocery for example “a loaf of bread and a kilo of sugar”. The grocer wrote down on my notebook how many I had taken and also wrote down on his own notebook the same.

 My Aunt sometimes used to tell me if you wanted something from the grocer like chocolate or gums as a reward, I could tell the grocer to write their notebook. But when I was a child, this was impossible. We were not the ones that can tell their wishes easily. We were warned not to want anything from someone. Nowadays I see that little children can easily get what they want. We were even ashamed of getting what is ours. So I was totally committed to my mission and I was very proud of this.

One day I noticed that some children came to the grocer to buy some tea but they wanted to buy it on tick. Their appeal failed with an angry response. The grocer said “ don’t you see the sign! Here it writes “WE DON’T SELL ON TICK”. Oh! I was shocked to see that sign as I was going there with the same response and got what my aunt wanted. At that moment I hid my notebook  when they went out, I told my aunt’s daily needs. But I was confused! What was the difference between them and me?

I went home to tell my mom the whole story. She said that if the grocer doesn’t trust someone, he doesn’t sell anything on tick. I got it then why the grocer told something like that and why the grocer never ever gave me angry response!!:) J

VERESİYE SATILMAZ ki??

VERESİYE SATILMAZ ki??

“Bir ekmek, bir paket de karbonat” öyle yazdır evladım! Söyle, ay sonuna ödeyecek  Amcan.” Nefes nefese koşarak bakkala “bir ekmek, bir de karbonat” dedim. Her gün mütemadiyen aynı saat ve aynı aralıklarla ve de aynı sipariş. Bir ekmek, bir de karbonat.. Çocuk aklımla ne yapar ne eder dedim bu kabartma tozu nev’inden karbonatı her gün bir tane. Ne işe yaradığını durup düşünüp merak ederdim. Karbonatı ekmeğin yanında katık olsun diye mi yerlerdi. Yoksa ev temizliği için mi kullanılırdı bir türlü aklım almazdı.

Siyah kaplı çizgili küçük bir defter.  Tüm ailenin aylık ihtiyaçlarını görebileceğin bir defter. Nadir ama bazen  içinde 1 paket sana, bazen de un yada pirinç türü bakliyat ürünleri olurdu. En sık olanı “bir ekmek, bir de karbonat”.

H. Teyzem, kimi zaman yaptığım bu aracılığa ödül maksadıyla canın çekerse bir de gofret yazdır derdi. Canı çektiğini istemenin görgüsüzlük olduğu ve ayıplandığı zamanlarda bunlar bize sıkı çimdiklerle tembihlenmişti. O bana emanet edilen bir özeldi. Hani çok sevdiğinize ancak en kıymetli eşyanızı emanet ederdiniz, ya da en güvendiğiniz komşunuza bırakırdınız ya evinizin anahtarını. İşte bende bana emanet edilen veresiye defterinin sorumluluğunu taşımakla görevlendirilmiştim.  Mahallenin çocuklarının yaşı en büyüğüne! Bu görevden o kadar mutlu olurdum ki, arkadaşlarımla mahallede top oynarken ya da saklambaç H. Teyzem, hep aynı saatte, aynı ses tonuyla “Ebruuu! Kızıııım! Hadi bir koşu bakkala git, bakkal Salim amcaya yazdır bir ekmek, bir de karbonat!” Altın anahtarın devir saatini teslim almak üzere olan bir küçük asker edasıyla içten içe gururla ve güvenle “Tamam H.Teyze” der, koşa koşa gider emaneti yeniden yerine teslim ederdim.

Bakkala gittiğimde Bakkal Salim amcanın tam başının üzerinde “VERESİYE SATILMAZ” ibaresi olurdu. Yazılı olup uygulanmayan kurallar silsilesi.. Neydi ki benim yaptığım, veresiyenin ta kendisi. Söylenenle yazılan arasında takılan ben.. Mahalleden bazı çocuklar bakkala gelip “Salim Amca! Annem bir paket çay al, salim amcan deftere yazsın!” derdi. “Yok! ,veresiye meresiye yok!” diye terslerdi onları. Tam o anda elimde defter varsa saklar, çocuklar gidince defteri yine bir güven ve gururla uzatır ve aynı cümleyi söylerdim. “bir ekmek, bir de karbonat”

Elimdeki defterin ay sonundaki mukayesesi olan ana defter Salim Amcanındı. Herhalde yazılanların denk olup olmadığı konusunda bir mutabakattı bu. Benim taşıdığım deftere yazdıklarımı kendi defterine de yazardı. Bu ana defter, mahallede veresiye ile alan ne yemiş ne içmiş ise sabıka kaydı gibi orada yazılıydı. “VERESİYE SATILMAZ” levhası bulunan bir dükkanda A’dan Z’ye kadar adı düzenlenmiş bunca kişiyle işler nasıl yürürdü ki. T.Beyden ayın yirmisine 70 lira, M.Abla fasulyesi çıkınca ödeyecek 54 lirasını, İ. Amca her 40 günde bir, A.bey gülleri bekliyor çıksın kapatsın borcu diye. H. Teyzem her maaş alışında tıkır tıkır öder hiç geciktirmeden… Bitmek bilmeyen hesaplar!..

“Anne! Bizim niye defterimiz yok ki! Paramız olmasa da ne istesek oraya yazdırırdık.” diye teessüf ettiğimde. Bunun bizim harcımız olmadığı, her ayın 15’inde maaş almadığımızı, varsa alıp yoksa susmamız gerektiğini sık sık öğütlerdi. O zaman daha iyi idrak etmiştim Bakkal Salim Amcanın beni niye hiç kovalamadığını ya da C. Amcamın neden veresiye yazdırma geleneğine bu kadar ihtiyaç duyduğunu…

           

THE BEGINNING

THE BEGINNING

I have come to a turning point about what to do next in my life. That was the point  perplexing in my mind “I should do something” .  Maybe that seems nonsense and useless but what you are going to see in these lines belong to my cultural and family matters. It is “story telling”. From  now on I am going to narrate the most curious things such as “food,  some sayings,  different expressions and using”. I was brought up by a very ridiculous family especially my grandma who doesn’t even know how to write and read. She was the most talkative and humorous woman in my life.  Whenever I went near her, I used to listen her very carefully and I imagined all the sayings in my mind.  I have always said one day I will tell the world what interesting and surprising events I have experienced.

If you ask me what started this intention. My grandma’s special leek patty.

 Our origins go back to Salonika as our great -grand parents were Turks livings there. During 1920s the Turks living in Greece immigrated to Turkey and the Greeks went back to their homeland.  This is a kind of barter. Many food habits come from our origins as this is a special food. We call it a kind of cultural leek patty (maybe I can’t translate the name just the same in my native language) you prepare dough for it. 

The most important part of it is cooking style. In the early times it was cooked on the stove not in the oven you put it on a tray.  If there is no stove you put it on the cooker when the bottom side is cooked you turn it upside down.

All through my childhood I and my sister were both skinny. My grandma wanted us to put on weight so she willingly used the method of cooking this patty and other food with high calories just for one or two more kilos. But in vain. .. it was useless but of course was delicious.

Well, back to our topic!! This cultural food is served with traditional drink ayran made from yoghurt.

 It is more fluid than yoghurt I hope you all know!  While doing these kind of traditional food women are easily able to criticize each other such as “ you had better put some more…., it is not like what I’ve done….., it should be thicker or thinner… etc.” By this time I giggle inside I find this undefined competition against women’s talent on food. Because all of them are delicious. I don’t understand why..

Whenever I find time, I will try to express what has hidden inside me so far back from childhood. So goodbye for now!

Başlangıç

           Sanırım artık ne yapmam gerektiğini buldum. Yapmam gereken şey tam da buydu. İş ne kadar basit ve faydasız gibi görünse de bu satırlara yer verecek her kültürel öğe bu ailenin genlerinde yer alan "storytelling" (hikaye anlatma) olayı en nihayet bir noktada başlıyor. Ben bugünden itibaren bu ailede yaşanan en ilginç şeyleri bazen sesli, bazense sessiz yazı diliyle bir noktada elimden gelen kadar kayıta geçireceğim.

          Bu duyguyu bana hissettiren en doğal an annemin pırasa pidesi oldu. Geleneksel macır pidesi diye adlandırılan bu yöresel börek el açması olup bu oldukça yaygın ve herkes tarafından sevilir. Bunun kuru yufka ile yapılanı ve de el açması ile yapılanı var. Bu pidenin en önemli özelliği fırında pişmemesi olup evde yanan sobanın üstünde pişmesidir. Soba geleneği devam etmeyen evlerde "mesela annemin evi" pide 4'lü ocağın üstünde pişer ve tepsiyle tersi piştikten sonra çevrilir. Ailede el açması popüler... Hatta börek ustası anneanneme göre hazır yufkadan börek, börek değildir. Bu sözleri yazarken anımsadığım an hacca gittiğinde annemler; anneannemin bize sabahın köründe börek açması. Oldukça zayıf iki toruna sahip olan anneannem, kızının yokluğunun verdiği atan merhamet duygusuyla tüm gücüyle çalışıp bize 3-5 kilo kazandırma derdindeydi.

Konuyu fazla dağıtmayayım. Pırasa pidesi dedik. Yanıbaşımızda oturan babaanneme göre pırasa pidesi ince olmalıdır. Kalın olması pidenin gelenekselliğini öldüren bir unsurdur. Babaannem kendi gibi olan şeyleri sever her zaman. Kendi beğendiği lezzetler onun için çok değerlidir. Kışları pişen pırasa pidesinde mısır unu ayrı bir seremonidir. Katı ya  da sulu olması, itinayla piştiğinde yemede, yanında yat. Yanına ne içilir derseniz, bizim ailede yapılan sulu ayran makbuldur. Anneannem ve dedem yoğurdu bile yerken sulandırdıklarından onu çokça tüketmemeyi arsızlık olarak algılarlar. Bizim evde ayranlar da yoğurtlar da suludur. Hatta yoğurdun biraz ekşimiş olanı makbüldür. Nerden geldik buraya? Babam dedi ki bugün sofrada "kari zamanlar" da şöyle durduk bir nedir bu diye? Bu "once upon a time" diyebileceğimiz türden, kalübelayı andıran bir sözcük olsa gerek! Çok hoşuma gitti. .......